Kwiheba bishobora gutuma umuntu yigirira nabi

Bitewe n’ibintu bitandukanye bigoye kwihanganira umuntu anyuramo mu buzima, ashobora gutakaza icyizere cyo kubaho, ndetse bikaba byanagira ingaruka zamuviramo no kwigirira nabi cyangwa kwiyahura.

Indwara yo kwiheba ica umuntu intege, ikamubangamira muri gahunda ze za buri munsi. Abahanga ntibavuga rumwe ku birebana no kumenya niba umuntu afite agahinda gasanzwe cyangwa niba arwaye indwara yo kwiheba. Icyakora, hari abantu bahorana ibyiyumvo bibi, bakumva biyanze kandi umutimanama wabo ukababuza amahwemo.

Ibi bishobora guterwa n’ibintu bitandukanye birimo aho umuntu atuye, akazi akora, umuryango we, ibyo yanyuzemo, inshingano n’ibindi bitandukanye, cyangwa se bigaturuka ku myitwarire ye, uko aruhuka, igihe asinzirira n’ibindi.

Abahanga mu by’ubuzima bavuga ko kwiheba ari imbaraga zituruka imbere mu mubiri cyangwa inyuma zikagira impinduka ku byiyumvo n’imyitwarire by’umuntu.
Urubuga ‘doctissimo’ rugaragaza ko kwiheba bigira ingaruka ku muntu byagereranywa n’uburyo imirya y’inanga iba ireze; iyo itareze neza ijwi riba ribi kandi rikagira amakaraza, yaba ireze cyane ijwi rikamena amatwi cyangwa imirya igacika.

Nk’uko bakomeza babivuga ngo hari abantu bagira kwiheba bidashira, bigatuma biyahuza inzoga, ibiyobyabwenge cyangwa itabi, mu gihe abandi batangira guhindagura imirire, bakamara amasaha menshi bareba televiziyo cyangwa bari kuri mudasobwa.

Ibi rero ngo bituma aho kugira ngo ikibazo bafite gikemuke, ibintu birushaho kuzamba, umuntu akaba yakwigirira nabi ndetse akaba yakwiyahura.

Icyo wakora igihe wahungabanye
Mu gihe umuntu yahuye n’ihungabana runaka ngo ni byiza kubwira umwe mu bagize umuryango we cyangwa inshuti afitiye icyizere.
Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko iyo umuntu ashyigikiwe n’incuti ze, bimurinda indwara zifitanye isano n’imihangayiko
Ni byiza kandi ko uwahuye n’ihungabana ashakisha icyamuranganza ndetse akaruhuka bihagije

Ni izihe ngeso abagore batishimira z’ abagabo babo?

Abagore benshi iyo muganiriye bakubwira ko abagabo wabona batagira utugeso tubangamira abagore babo ari bakeya. Iyo utwo tugeso dukabije dushobora kuba intandaro y’ ubwumvikane buke mu muryango .
Reka turebere hamwe zimwe muri izo ngeso abagabo bagira zidashimisha abagore babo.

Iya mbere ni umugabo ufuha cyane. Burya uwo ukunda ushobora kumufuhira , ariko iyo gufuha bikabije biba inenge ndetse bikaba n’ ingeso mbi yatuma mu rugo hahora amakimbirane adashira. Hari abagabo bafuha ku buryo batajya bifuza ko umugore we yavugana n’ undi mugabo, cyangwa ntibifuze ko umugore yakora ibikorwa bimuteza imbere cyangwa ngo yige amashuri menshi, bibaza ko ejo umugore yamurenza ubushobozi akamusuzugura.

Indi ngeso twavuga ni umugabo uhora usuzuguza umugore we cyangwa akamushyira hasi cyane. Mu buzima busanzwe iyo umuntu ahora agusuzugura akakwereka ko nta cyo ushoboye, ibyo bigusubiza hasi. Umugabo utigera abona ko ibyo umugore we yakoze ari byiza cyangwa se bitunganye , urugero tuvuge nk’iyo umugore atwaye imodoka ari kumwe n’ umugabo we, umugabo akagenda amuha amabwiriza adashira, amubwira ko ari gutwara nabi, ko ntabyo ashoboye, amubwira nabi , amutonganya, amunenga, ibi bituma umugore adatera imbere ndetse akumva atishimiye kongera kugendana n’ umugabo we ubutaha. Hari n’ abagabo banenga abagore babo mu ruhame abantu bumva ,ibi nabyo si byiza.
Ingeso ya gatatu abagore batishimira ni umugabo ushima abagore b’abandi ariko utajya ashima umugore we na rimwe. Hari umugabo gendana n’ umgore we yahura n’ undimugore, agatangira kumureba cyane, ashima uko ateye, uko yambaye, uko aseka, uko agenda, n’ ibindi. Ibi bituma umugore we ashobora gufuha cyangwa akaba yafata umugabo we nk’ ushobora no kumuca inyuma, iyi ngeso rero abagore benshi ntibayikunda.

Indi ngeso ni umugabo ukunda kuvuga vuga amagambo menshi muri mu bantu. Hari umugabo ukunda kuvuga cyane akenshi mu magambo avuga ukumva harimo kwiyemera, kwirata, gusebya no kunenga abandi, kwishyira mu rwego atarimo, bene uyu mugabo akenshi akunda no kwiha ijambo iyo ari mu bandi, ku buryo ubona abantu bose bamurambiwe ndetse bakamwinuba. Umugore ufite umugabo uteye gutya biramubangamira cyane, akenshi akumva ntiyaba ari kumwe nawe, cyangwa akumva no kuganira nawe ntibimunejeje kuko nawe iyo baganira ntatuma avuga yiharira ijambo.
Umugabo ugira umwanda, udakaraba ku buryo bigera aho agira impumuro mbi , ntiyoge mu kanwa ku buryo agira umwuka mubi mu kanwa umugore we akumva atanahindukira ngo aryame amureba. Bene uyu mugabo usanga atibwiriza guhindura imyenda cyangwa yayihindura iyo yari yambaye ugasanga yayijugunye aho abonye, ibi nabyo ntibinezeza umugore we.

Ingeso twasorezaho nubwo ari nyinshi cyane, ni umugabo ukomeza kwihambira kuri nyina kandi yarashatse umugore. Ibi byo birababaza kurenza ibindi byose twavuze haruguru, kandi bishobora no gusenya urugo vuba cyane kurenza ibindi . Burya umugabo wese akwiye kumenya ko iyo ashatse umugore asiga se na nyina akabana nuwo mugore we akaramata bombi bakaba umubiri umwe, niko ijambo ry’Imana ribitubwira. Iyo umugabo ashatse umugore niwe agomba guhindura umujyanama we wa bugufi, ndetse agomba no kwemera ko amusimburira nyina akaba ariwe ufata umwanya wa mbere mu buzima bwe.

Umugabo rero ukunda kubitsa amabanga nyina, akamugisha inama mbere yo kuyigisha umugore we, nyina akaba ariwe umufatira ibyemezo, ntabwo ashobora kubana neza n’ umugore we.Hari umugabo uva ku kazi aho gutaha mu rugo ngo umugore we amwakire neza, agahitira kwa nyina, akaryayo, agatindayo, ugasanga bicaranye bonyine bahwihwisa utugambo tudashira, yataha akanga kurya ngo yariye kwa nyina, ibi abagore bose barabyanga birababangamira.

Ingeso twavuga ni nyinshi ariko reka turekere aho ubutaha tuzavuga noneho ku ngeso mbi abagore bagira zikababaza abagabo, kugirango dufashe impande zombie abagabo n’ abagore kubaka ingo nziza z’ amahoro zirangwa n’ urukundo kandi zinezeza Imana.

Bimwe mu bintu bituma urukundo rurushaho gushinga imizi

Hari abatekereza ko gukunda ndetse nawe ugakundwa bihagije, ariko burya iyo bigeze ku bikenewe ngo umubano wanyu urusheho gukomera no gushinga imizi, urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije.
Abakundana burya akenshi ntibatandukana kubera ko urukundo rwabuze, ahubwo hari ibindi bintu by’ingenzi biba byabuze kandi na byo bikenewe cyane kugira ngo urukundo rurusheho gushinga imizi.
Urubuga Elcrema rutanga inama ku rukundo n’imibanire y’abantu rwakusanyije bimwe mu bintu bitari urukundo bikenewe hagati y’abakundana kugira ngo barusheho gukomera mu rukundo no kurambana.
 
1.Icyizere
Niba ukundana n’umuntu ariko udashobora kumugirira icyizere cyangwa se mwese mukaba mutizerana ku buryo buhagije, ntimuzigere mutekereza ko umubano wanyu uzaramba kuko ntacyo ufite gihamye wubakiyeho.
Ukeneye kwizera uwo mukundana kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rukomere.
Icyizere ariko na cyo ntigipfa kwizana ahubwo buri wese agomba guharanira no gukora ibikorwa bituma aba umwizerwa ku imbere y’umukunzi we.

2.Ubushake
Ikindi kintu gikenewe kugira ngo urukundo n’umubano birambe ni ubushake bwo kuba muri urwo rukundo koko.
Buri umwe mu bakundana agomba kugira ubushake bwo kubaka wa mubano ndetse bakagerageza no gushyiramo imbaraga nyinshi zishoboka kugira ngo ubashe gukomera no kuramba.
Iyo nta bushake, urukundo mufitanye igipimo rwaba rururiho cyose, umubano wanyu ntushobora kurenga umutaru.

3.Kubabarira
Nta muntu n’umwe udakosa, kubabarira rero ni kimwe mu bintu bikenewe atari hagati y’abakundana gusa ahubwo no mu buzima bwa buri munsi bw’abantu.
Niba koko ukeneye kubaka umubano ukomeye hagati yawe n’uwo ukunda, ukwiye kumenya gutanga imbabazi kuko urukundo nyarwo rurangwa no kubabarira.
Wowe n’umukunzi wawe niba mutajya mubabarirana mumenye ko nta mahirwe na make mufite yo kubana akaramata nk’uko mubyifuza.

4.Gusaba imbabazi no gushima
Burya kubabarira ni ngombwa, ariko nanone biragora gutanga imbabazi mu gihe uwakosheje atiteguye kuba yazisaba.
Abakundana bakwiye kwiga gusabana imbabazi igihe habayeho gukosa, kuko ibi bizabarinda kuba ikibazo bagiranye kigera ku rwego batakibashije kugikemura.
Ikindi kintu cy’ingenzi kijyana no gusaba imbabazi no kubabarira ni ukumenya gushima igihe hari icyiza ukorewe n’umukunzi wawe, kuko bituma yumva hari agaciro afite bigatuma arushaho guharanira kugukorera ibigushimisha.

4.Kwihanganira no kumva umukunzi wawe
Kwihangana na byo birakenewe cyane mu mibanire y’abakundana, kuko burya umukunzi wawe si umutagatifu ku buryo uzanyurwa n’ibikorwa bye byose.
Ugomba kwiga kwihanganira amakosa n’imyitwarire itari myiza iranga umukunzi wawe kuko uretse kuba bizatuma urukundo n’umubano wanyu birushaho gukomera, nawe ubwe bizamufasha guhinduka ku buryo bworoshye.
Ikindi kintu gikenewe hagati y’abakundana ni ugutega amatwi no kumva umukunzi wawe, kuko aho byabuze usanga bahora mu ntonganya zidashira.
Ni benshi batandukana atari uko badakundana ahubwo aruko ubwumvikane hagati yabo bwabuze.
6.Guhana amakuru no gufatanya muri byose

Nibyo koko murakundana kandi by’ukuri ariko burya ibyo byonyine ntibyatuma murambana nkuko mu byifuza.
Nyuma y’urukundo mugomba guhana amakuru no kubwirana byose, kuko iyo iki kibuze na bimwe byavuzwe mbere bigenda bikendera.
Ntukwiye kwicara ngo utekereze ko umukunzi wawe azamenya icyo utekereza kitagenda neza cyangwa wifuza kandi utakimugejejeho, iga kumubwira ibikurimo byaba ibyo wifuza, ibitagenda neza cyangwa se ibindi byose ubona ko akwiye kumenya.
Ikindi kandi nk’abantu bakundana kandi bifuza kurambana mukwiye gufatanya muri byose, ibibazo n’ibihe bikomeye mukabibanano ntihagire utererana undi.
Nibyo koko murakundana, ariko niba utekereza ko bihagije uribeshya kuko urukundo ari nk’urubuto rutewe mu butaka.
Iyo urubuto uruteye ntirubone izuba cyangwa amazi rukeneye ngo ruzamuke rukure neza rurapfapfana, cyo kimwe n’urukundo iyo ruhawe ibikenewe byose rurakura, ariko iyo bibuze ntawe umenya irengero ryarwo.